Meet the Resident: Jason

June 5, 2024

A Journey of Redemption and Reconciliation

Jason’s life story is a poignant example of transformation, highlighting the impact of family dynamics on personal development and the powerful redemption found through self-reflection and community support. His journey from a high-stakes life on the run to a meaningful existence centered on family and self-growth provides a raw glimpse into the challenges and triumphs of breaking free from a cycle of trauma and addiction.

Life on the Run

For Jason, the fugitive lifestyle was a relentless chase. Constant evasion from law enforcement, shifting from one hideout to another, and living under the looming threat of arrest was his reality for years. “You’re always looking over your shoulder, always waiting for the other shoe to drop. It’s no way to live,” Jason reflects. This high-adrenaline existence brought a deceptive sense of importance and community, though it was fraught with danger and ultimately unfulfilling. “When I was dealing, I felt important in the community. I felt needed.” However, this lifestyle cost him dearly, especially in his role as a father, constantly pulling him away from his children.

A Troubled Childhood

Jason’s struggles began much earlier in life – in his own childhood. Growing up in a home where both parents battled addiction, he was exposed early to a world of instability and neglect. “My mother was addicted to alcohol and drugs when I was a kid. She was a single mom and was constantly bringing different guys into our home. I started acting out as a kid and stayed in trouble at school from an early age. Eventually, my mom lost custody, and I ended up being in the state’s care for ten years.” This turbulent childhood set a foundation for his later choices, embedding patterns of behavior that would take years to unlearn. 

“I didn’t have a relationship with my father or any of these other guys in our life, and my mother was dealing with her own demons when I was a kid. I guess I was still searching for a sense of validation once I became an adult. That search ended up getting me in a lot of trouble.”  

“I realized I could make a ton of money dealing drugs, and it seemed like I could erase life’s problems by having that money. I had my own family at this point, and I was providing for my kids financially. But I wasn’t there when it counted. They needed a dad, not just the material things I could buy for them.” Upon receiving charges related to drug possession and firearms and after multiple probation violations, Jason remained on the run for years. And, as he had anticipated earlier, the other shoe eventually did drop.

Prison as a Turning Point

After being arrested and sentenced to time in prison, Jason experienced a pivotal shift. This period of incarceration forced him to confront the reality of his choices and the impact of his lifestyle not only on himself but on those he loved. Prison provided a stark reflection of where his life had led him, serving as a catalyst for change.

“As terrible as it sounds, going to prison may have saved my life,” Jason reflects. “It was an opportunity for me to really see the person I had become. I started thinking about life differently. I understood the way I had let my kids down. I thought about the lack of relationship I had had with my own father, and I ended up doing the same thing to my children. Although I had established a relationship with my mother as an adult, I realized I had wasted a ton of time being foolish and missed out on having a meaningful relationship with her. Overall, I saw that I had missed out on a lot of life, but I felt like I had received a second chance. I knew that, once I got out, I wanted to make the most of this new perspective.”

Rebuilding and Reconnecting

Upon release, Dismas House played an instrumental role in Jason’s journey of recovery and restoring relationships. The sense of community provided a stark contrast to his previous life, offering a stable environment where he could grow and heal. “Being here has made a huge impact on my life. I don’t think that I would be as confident in my sobriety or as confident in everything else that I’ve been doing without the support I’ve found here. This place is my home. This is where I feel safe, where I feel comfortable. I’m held accountable, and that’s something I need.”

In addition to establishing new relationships and boundaries, reconnecting with his family became a cornerstone of his recovery. Shortly after arriving at Dismas House, Jason reconciled with his father and arranged a trip for a family reunion, marking a significant milestone for both of them. “My father and I ended up getting really close during that time. I came to view him as a human being instead of holding any resentment toward him.”

The experience of reconnecting and traveling with his father was profoundly meaningful for Jason. It allowed him to see his father as someone who had struggled with similar issues, which helped him understand and forgive past grievances. This time together allowed them to repair their strained relationship and share moments that were crucial for Jason’s healing and personal growth – all in the most pivotal timing. “Just three months after he visited, he passed away. I could’ve easily missed out on that.”

A few short months later, Jason found himself encountering another loss, as his mother’s health rapidly declined. “Realizing that I would lose both of my parents within a few months of each other, right after getting out of prison, was very difficult. I was incredibly thankful to have the support of my Dismas House family during that time. 

I had only recently reconnected with my father, but I had established a relationship with my mother long before that. For most of that time though, she was experiencing the old version of me. For years, she held onto the hope that I could be better.

In her last days, I was finally able to show her a different version of me than she had known for most of my adult life. She had seen my potential for years, and she could see that I was finally living up to it. I’ll never forget – right before she passed, she told me she was proud of me. That fuels my motivation now.” 

A New Definition of Validation

Today, Jason’s definition of success revolves around being present for his children and contributing positively to his community. He is committed to being the parent he didn’t have as a child and to breaking the cycle of trauma that marked his early life. “Success for me is all about feeling at peace and at home and making the most of the time I have left,” he says, valuing stability and genuine connections over the fleeting thrills of his past.

Jason’s story is a testament to the power of transformation and the profound impact of taking responsibility for one’s future. It highlights the enduring strength of reconciliation and the redemptive power of community support in overcoming the shadows of the past.